My relationship of almost 4.5 years broke up and initially I was really upset about it. This was the longest relationship I had been in and of course it would be upsetting. I think what hit me the most was all the memories we have made in so many places around Las Vegas, my current home for the past almost 6 years. I also realized how much I truly was in love with my ex which is a real stinger. I am not one to admit when I feel such a strong emotion as love because there is a certain level of vulnerability there when one does that. In being raised by a family of majority single mothers, I learned to not show such a vulnerable side as I have seen that often times it comes back to bite you.
Regardless, I am truly thankful for the years we were together as they were some of the best years of my life. In being in a relationship with such an age difference (32 years), I was able to learn a lot and grow. I have many accomplishments from the time we were together and I absolutely feel my maturity level has gone up many notches. I do still feel however that a level of youthfulness is needed throughout one's life because being too serious leaves NO ROOM FOR FUN! We did have a lot of fun and enjoyed sharing many memories together, but over time we began to drift apart. One of the greatest things I take from this relationship is the importance of communication in any and all relationships. Without communication, nothing works.
When I began to fully realize that my relationship had broken up, I began to go into survival mode. I knew I needed a place to stay and I also knew I had not taken the initiative to make any friends in Vegas. I've been working from home for almost 4 years and I had no one to turn to. In those moments of kind of utter shock, I went back to my roots, I turned to God. (I'm so thankful my Mom provided me with such a solid foundation) I realized I had neglected my relationship with God which I learned is something I will never do again. First and foremost my greatest priority is to get close to him, to talk to him, to build a relationship with him. When I do this, I do not suffer. I do not hurt others, I evolve. As hard as I felt it was to leave a relationship of almost 4.5 years, it was even harder to realize how I neglected God for so long and all the while he was there the whole time wanting me to connect with him. God truly strengthened my heart when I was going through such a hard time.
My focus has greatly shifted in terms of where I will be in the coming years. I just know that with God I am never lost. I will continue to strive to be the best person I can be, but I will first consult God on all matters concerning my future endeavors. I still have hopes and dreams but I know they will more lovingly be fulfilled when I am in partnership with God. I am thankful to be blessed and to know that when material (earthly) things fail, as they may, God (spirit) will never fail me.