Lately I've been doing a lot of soul searching, talking to God about big things on my mind. Since I will be 30 years old in a little under 6 months I am constantly working on becoming a more mature person than I was in my 20s. I refuse to be the same person, how can anyone accept such a thing as not growing? I am thinking more and more about younger generations and their belief systems. I ponder and my thoughts wander about all the preconceived notions, ideas, and opinions that clouded my thoughts when I was younger. I was so set on believing what everyone else around me thought that I never formed my own opinion.
As I get older I now see my opinion is far different than those I once knew. I had no idea what was best for myself back then and in certain areas and aspects majority of the people around me had no idea either. Some still don't, sadly. While I mention my past, I must also look to the future and those whose futures are at stake. I realize I limited my achievements to those around me. I hindered my own growth or stunted it based on the actions or inaction of those I knew. This is why I think of the future of future generations. I wish for them much inner peace, strength, and growth. I wish for them to recognize their truth behind the veil that seems to keep it hidden or shunned. I hope they do not limit their goals and aspirations because those around them are too fearful to achieve their own. It should not be younger generations looking to older generations and being let down by what they see. Since actions speak louder than words, parents shouldn't say, "You can achieve what you want," as it will fall on deaf ears. Since actions speak louder than words they must recognize that seeing is believing. Why say one thing, but do the opposite? If parents wish for their children to succeed, they must work towards showing them the way. To rise above and do better for not just themselves but for the younger people who look up to them. I say this as an African American woman who struggles with these deep inner thoughts that people constantly ignore. I am thinking above and beyond myself to those younger generations who are growing up today. I want them to see that they can achieve, that they can do far better than what they might think. That they are worth so much more than they might believe. I say this because I know I certainly never felt like I was worth much when I was growing up. Now as an African American professional voice over actress (a rarity in the field), a soon to be author, a proud young black woman who grew up poor, on welfare, as a soul who found herself lost at a young age, I stand with an uplifted head. Not ashamed of my past, but using it as a tool of strength and motivation to help improve things for future generations. I find it selfish to do anything less. I no longer make excuses for myself and I no longer accept them from anyone else. Young people need to see better because they deserve it, therefore we must do better. One should never place limits upon themselves based on what they see around them. I talked to an old friend recently who still lives close to where I grew up and it saddened me to find out he had no goals for his future or aspirations. He wasn't even open to hearing about the self-improvement program that changed my life for the better. What is happening to us? What are we conditioning ourselves to become? What are we learning? Are we even learning or have we refused and stopped? Look at what we are doing to ourselves...It is our own fault. As an adult, life is all about the choices you make, start thinking in terms of accountability. We may not have had the best childhoods, but it's up to us to create the present and future we want for ourselves. I know the choices I've made have gotten me to where I am. No one is to blame but yourself, it's time to take responsibility for the inaction (really hold yourself accountable), let go of the stagnation, and start moving forward. Believe in yourself and realize that no one is holding you back, but you. After I realized years ago that I was the one holding myself back, I cut it out, and I'm far happier now than I've ever been. Each year, day, hour, minute, second is another blessing and gift from my Father as life gets better and better. If you can't move forward for yourself, think altruistically and do it for the betterment of tomorrow, do it for the youth and their futures.
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July 2017
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